What You Bring
I hate bragging. Tooting my own horn. I worry that it might be off key, but moreso that it might be too damn loud. I find self-promotion distasteful when others do it; why would I do that myself?
Tell the world about you!
We live in a world where we often need to be our own best advocates. Sometimes that can be through humility, integrity–our actions speak louder. But often, whether looking for a job, a promotion, or even a date, we have to catch someone’s attention with verbal communication, whether oral or written. We need to speak up for who we are.
Why do I so dislike others’ self-promotion? Perhaps because I see it as somewhat desperate and a sign of insecurity. Bravado, blatant self-regard–it makes me feel like someone’s hiding something. “If you’re so great at that, I should know it already; or show me!” Ironically, I hate having to prove myself. I want people to automatically know I’m awesome.
That’s not how things work.
You may be having one of two reactions at this point.
“Why not?!” You’re resistant to bragging, too? Read on!
“Duh.” You already know you have to promote yourself and have accepted or even embraced it? You can stop reading (or keep on reading if you’re curious about my analysis.)
But for the “Why not?!” people, like me, asking, “Why don’t people just know how amazing I am? My references are great! Look at my amazing resume. I’m a really ______ person.” Well…there are lots of reasons.
People are caught up in their own lives, their own needs. If you’ve ever hired someone, you know that you had a certain need to fill and wondered, “Will this candidate be able to do what I need them to? Can I trust them? Will they fit in well enough with the team? Will they make my job easier or cause me stress? Will they help me get a promotion?”
Even if we are of service to others in many aspects of our lives (parents, volunteers, friends and more) we all have to look out for our own needs first. Will I be okay? Will I thrive?
When you let people know what you bring, how you will be valuable to them, you help them answer these two questions with a booming, “Yes!”
Yes!, hiring manager, you will be okay if you hire me. Yes!, potential romantic partner, you will thrive if you pair up with me. Yes!, potential client, you will increase your bottom line and your business will grow if you contract for my services.
In fact, when you toot your own horn, you’re doing others a favor. You’re letting them know how awesome you are so they don’t have to go look. You’re saving them the search. You’re making their life easier. You’re fulfilling a need.
So, how do you do this? Start with a list. It may sound simple, but it can be hard to wipe away all the cloudy self-doubts on your internal windshield. Start small if you need to, but write down what you bring. Here’s an example:
I am thoughtful, quirky, funny.
I am wise, surprising, resilient.
I am helpful, caring, persistent.
I am a great listener, creative.
I love animals.
I can see possibilities others can’t.
I do high quality work.
I am great to be around.
I make connections between people and ideas.
I love public speaking.
I provide valuable outside perspective.
I cheer people up and support them in their pain.
Now write yours! It doesn’t need to be perfect. The list can change all the time. You contain multitudes. Set your self-criticism aside for the moment. Just write it out. Paste it in your office later, on your dashboard. All the better, email it to me! I’ll keep the list confidential. But I want to know how great you are. And so does the world!
